I saw this quote from Enlightened Consciousness and it hit me like a ton of bricks how true it is. When you grow up in a toxic family it is hard sometimes to see the way to living differently, especially in regards to raising your own children. All I knew when I was starting out my own family was that I didn’t want my kids to grow up terrorized, abused, disrespected, and scared all the time. And then floundering as adults because they didn’t know how to set boundaries with people and/or speak up for themselves. I didn’t want to put them down, continually mess with their confidence, nor insult their life choices even if the things they choose to do as adults is different than what I envisioned. I am still growing as a person and as a parent, even though my kids are grown.
I still feel confused sometimes if I am doing the right thing, but I realize that’s just because having a healthy family who loves and accepts each other and communicates well with each other still feels a bit strange to me. And I still have people in my family of origin who try to make me feel bad for refusing to accept their abuse anymore. But I am not a bad person for no longer going along with their unhealthy and, dare I say it, bizarre way of ‘getting along’ with each other. I am a good person for wanting better for myself and my children, and I have done a brave thing with my children in charting a different way.