“There are two ways of spreading the light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it ~ Edith Wharton
If you have suffered neglect or trauma I want to tell you, that all the love you have inside of you that was rejected or abused, you can give to other people. For example you may choose to be a parent yourself someday. Often people just pass the neglect and abuse on, but you can choose otherwise. I have 3 kids and I always show them love, care, affection, and that I am a place of safety and refuge. The sun rises and sets for me on my kids, and I’ve tried their whole lives to BE the sun for them also. Children need more than food, clothing, stuff like that; they need someone shining on them who loves them and nurtures them. Not giving this to a child is like trying to grow a plant in the dark with only a little light coming through the window. It may still grow, but it will be stunted and sickly. It won’t thrive.
I’m here to tell you that if you survived that darkness, and you did, you can now go out into the light, and give that light to other people. Even if you never have kids of your own, you can help children in other ways. You can help other stunted adults in other ways. There are so many of us, and it is remarkable how many of us end up in the helping professions. Teaching, healthcare, social work, etc. Nurturing others really helps those of us who’ve experienced any neglect or trauma to heal inside, and to grow. Maybe we won’t get to how big and strong inside as those not crippled in this way are, but we can thrive and be happy. We can feel good about ourselves, we can have good self-esteem. We are just as worthy as anybody else and we can know our worth. It starts by sharing the light.