This can be hard to handle. What I advise is to go every once in a while. Be honest when you don’t want to go. My friends and family have long ago learned that if I don’t want to be there, my presence will not add a pleasant element to their get-together. I can be abrasive and rude. But if I want to be there, I will shine. I can be charming and fun to be around every now and then.
With new friends I sometimes have to break it down for them. Do you want a thundercloud who will make your other party guests cry? Or do you want a rainbow who will bring excitement and zest to your party and have everyone asking WHO IS THAT and think you’re a fabulous person just for knowing me? Huh? HUH?
Of course they say: Well, I want you to bring the zest
So then I gently break the news that I have no more zest right now, I am all out of zest so if I go to their party I will be no-fun, and fuming mad because I want to be home reading a book or just sitting quietly contemplating this and that. Savoring life on my own and getting energized within myself.
This is usually the tipping point in any new friendship. Some people back off. I don’t have a lot of friends. I’m ok with that. The ones I do have understand this and respect it. My extended family doesn’t really understand this about me but since we typically only all get-together a few times a year anyway there’s no problem.